Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Appropriate for the new year: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Oh yeah, time off

I don't have to go back to work until next Tuesday. A week from today! How rad is that?

Tomorrow would have been a half day anyway so my boss just said I could have the whole day off since I've got some extra vacation time to burn. Then Thursday and Friday are company holidays. I took Monday off for my gestational diabetes test. Not bad considering I had no idea we had Friday off until yesterday.

My plan is to cram as much Korean language learning as possible into this week. I've done pretty well the last few days. It's amazing the amount of information you forget if you don't look at it every single day.

One of my cousins in Korea has offered to help me out with this but I don't know what his plan is. He asked for my address so we'll see. On a related note, I looked up how much it would cost for two people to visit Korea for a week. Airfare and hotel alone would run us at least $4000.

Ouch. Sorry family, it's going to be a while.

Sandra Lee Strikes Again

Cake Wrecks: Kwanzaa Will Not Be Spared

...I have no words.

I miss having a rat to cuddle

The Temple of the Rats | Cool Things In Random Places

When I finally get to go to India this will be one of my first stops. I love rats. Love them. Even those giant cat-sized ones running around the city.

I really do miss having pet rats. Maybe when Lily is old enough....

Kitchen of my dreams

I wish my kitchen looked like this.

Awesome! I'd love to be a part of Canada.

As if Things Weren't Bad Enough, Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S. - WSJ.com

End of December randomness

• Is it possible to OD on Christmas cookies?
• Hooray, we don't have to worry about a crib for Lily anymore!
• That reminds me, it's time to update the baby registries.
• I barely slept last night and today my back is not in a good way. I hate the smell of topical analgesics.
  
• It's probably just all the crap I've been eating the past couple of days but I just feel icky. I really hope I'm not coming down with anything. Tylenol is barely taking the edge off my headache and I'm really queasy.
• Maybe I'll make myself some warm soymilk with honey to settle my stomach.
• Oh yes, that was definitely a good decision.
• Our new garbage can is the most awesomest present ever! Here it is in action. My parents like to take simple things to a very surreal level.
  
• It is very quiet in the house without Shillelagh.
• My brother and SIL gave us a metric fuckton of baby clothes. I reiterated my No Corporate Clothing rule and rejected some Pooh stuff and a Minnie Mouse thing. Husband snuck a Pooh hat and an Eeyore shirt in there. Fine. But what bothered me was the drama that already started about my No Corporate Clothing rule. Look, if I don't want my children to be walking billboards for Disney/Nickelodeon/Gap/Whatthefuckever that is my choice and, I believe, should be respected. That's why we have this information right on our two registries. If we get any of this stuff it will be promptly returned without apology. I don't think I'm being an ungrateful brat here. I have my standards.
• Grr, I'm really worked up now.
• I really need to get my hands on a Windows XP disk with SP2 included. This install is taking forever.
• We have a wedding to go to tomorrow. A wedding. On December 27. Two days after Christmas. That is whack.
  

More Shillelagh drama

My parents now have custody of Shillelagh on a trial-run basis. It has been a rough day of hormones and hurt feelings and guilt and sadness, but I really believe that we made the right decision.

But yes, I do still feel like a failure.

Stuttering

Lineman Tackles Personal Hardships Head-On - Local News Story - KETV Omaha

The above story makes me smile. I struggle with stuttering too and haven't been able to really move past the humiliation of it all. It's not bad enough for a lot of people to notice it but when it happens (several times a day) I always get self conscious about it. Thus I don't talk much.

I guess it's nice to see someone who is able to confront it and be comfortable with it in a very visible, public way.

And this is for my husband: go big red!

Being thankful

She's big, she's clumsy, she's annoying, and she farts a lot, but Shillelagh's home.

We have no idea where she slept Wednesday night. She ended up being found almost a mile away by a family who saw her hanging out in their yard. So thank goodness she wasn't stolen. I was convinced because she is a very, very, very friendly dog. It baffles me that she went all day, all night, and most of Thursday without running up to anyone who would notice her tag with her name, address, and phone number on it. Also I noticed on Petfinder that someone a block away from us on the same street had lost a dog the day before Shillelagh went missing.

Thanks to everyone who had kind words to say on this. It really helped a lot! I've been a ball of stress due to a lot of things lately and this whole situation was the cherry on top of my shit sundae.

Now Husband wants to keep her again. I still think she's not the right dog for us and I still feel guilty about that. Only now it's like super guilt because of losing her. She was very quiet and subdued yesterday for a change and that was nice, but I'm sure she was just tired and hungry from her ordeal.

So I'm thankful for what we have but at the same time I want it to go away. It's a weird place to be. Life is complicated.

We got our dog back!

She is home. She is safe.

Dog Drama

Husband let the puppy outside this morning to do her business and when he went to let her back in she was gone. Vanished. Without a trace. The fence gates were all latched. So either she learned how to climb over the fence (likely) or she was stolen. I put up some ads on Craigslist and tonight I get to visit Minneapolis Animal Control and the Humane Society to see if anyone dumped her there. I've called the two vets that are closest to us but no luck. I'm worried but I'm not freaking out.

A couple of days ago we finally came to grips with the fact that she is just not the dog for us. This causes me no end of guilt. We researched the breed. We did everything we could to make it work, but it just wasn't enough. We yelled, we cried, and finally decided to find her a new home. Now two days later she disappears. Coincidence? Karma? I don't know. I still feel like a horrible person. Neither of us ever expected to be those people with the ad on Craigslist for our dog.

If we ever find her again, know anyone who wants a dog?

:(

Bring out your dumb

So there's this giant rolling rack of computers by my desk that's full of desktops and laptops going back to Dell because their leases are up. While I was taking inventory of them I had no less than four people stop, gawk, and say, "WOW OMG WTF R THESE 4 LOLOLOL??!!one!11!!eleven!" (OK, so maybe they didn't say that exactly but that's what they sounded like in my hormone-ravaged head).

Me: "They're lease returns from [one of our companies]."

Them: *stare*

Me: "...they're going back to Dell because they're old."

Them: "WOW LOL U SURE GOT LOTS 2 DO ROFL"

Me: "..."

Just a few minutes ago -- I swear this is true -- another person walked by and did the stop and gawk thing.

Person: "What are these things?"

Me (thinking this person couldn't possibly mean what I think they mean): "Lease returns from [company]."

Person: *stare*
Person: "Are they DVD players or something?"

Me: *brain explodes*

The funniest moment of the year, hands down

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bettie Page has died

Bettie Page dies at 85

I am sad. Her later years were troubled but I admire her for so many things. She was one of the first women of her time to be upfront about taking care of herself and her body by exercising. Her carefree smile and radiant beauty never betrayed the horrors of her childhood. RIP, Miss Page.

Can we please do something now?

North Korean Prison Camp Escapee Tells of Horrors, Worries About Those Left Behind - washingtonpost.com

Hey, if we're going to be the World Police anyway, how about going into a country that really, truly needs help?

Man says 'slap me with a salmon' | Metro.co.uk

Man says 'slap me with a salmon' | Metro.co.uk



Bonus points: check the image caption on the article.

A sadly misinformed "teacher"

This is one of the most entertaining things I've read in a long time.

This is wonderful.

NoFo: Proposition Hate

Still an introvert

I'm in a pretty good mood today. Really. I just don't want anyone to talk to me.

Alien Me

I gotta be honest. I've always thought pregnant women look bizarre. Grotesque. Alien. I've never understood why people always gush about how beautiful the pregnant body is.

My feelings haven't changed now that I'm the bizarre alien body lady.

The thought of getting one of those body casts gives me the willies.

I'm really not trying to be Debbie Downer about the whole pregnancy package, but there just isn't a lot to enjoy about the process. They never tell you that in the books and websites.

The good thing is that Lily has been kicking away. Other than a severe case of insomnia tonight (it's almost 3:00 AM) I've been feeling fine. Especially since I got a new prescription for heartburn medication that I can actually take. Holy crap, I forgot what it was like to not have heartburn 100% of the time. Yay, science!