On the wagon, off the wagon

First: this?  This is the greatest article ever.

Here I go again, struggling to lose weight.  Losing five pounds via a norovirus was a happy side effect, but I've got to get the other 10  15   25 off in a more healthy fashion.
I was running fairly regularly before my knee decided it was done with me.  I was sort of doing the Couch to 5K program mixed with my own high intensity interval training on top of weight training and lower body plyometrics.  I was feeling awesome and strong but my knee was in white-hot screaming pain.  I do not recommend this training regimen unless you're doing knee strengthening exercises beforehand.  Even then, I don't know that it's a good idea.

I finally went to an orthopedist after about a year of hemming and hawing about it.  I was afraid that I was going to need surgery and/or physical therapy so I was stubborn and told myself I didn't have time for that kind of thing, what with the baby and me trying to get back into roller derby.  When it got difficult and painful to pick Lily up I decided it was time to take action.  I had three MRIs on my painful parts.  It was decided that I didn't have any tears or anything requiring surgery (thank you, Flying Spaghetti Monster!) but I needed to not do my high impact stuff until I was at least done with my first round of PT.  Possibly longer.

So I was stuck.  I don't really know how to exercise unless it's grueling, excruciating, and high impact.  I've been doing some strength training, my PT prescribed exercises, a little bit of bike riding, and I've started the C25K program over, but this time I'm doing it on the elliptical.

Now when it comes to food, that's a whole other post....

Why I'll never be popular

I've never been one of the cool kids.  I've always had a feeling that I was born in the wrong decade.  I've noticed quite a few things that I don't have in common with other people in my 25-35 age bracket.

1. I have no interest in photography.  None.  Zero.  Point and shoot, baby.
2. I hate marketing/advertising/PR.  Haaaaate it.  I never, ever, ever, ever want to work for a company involved in this.
3. I place no value in handbags.  It's just a damn bag to put your shit in.  You're going to set it down on some scummy table or floor, or on the back of some fetid, festering bar toilet.  Are you still glad you paid upwards of $300 for it?
4. I do not listen to The Current, and in fact I find most of what they play to be whiny, self-serving, and boring. 
5. I do not read the City Pages, as the writers they employ are whiny, self-serving, boring hipsters who seem to have a running bet amongst themselves as to who can stuff the most inane metaphors and big words into their columns. 
6. I find Uptown to be stuffed with pretentious and/or douchey suburban pricks.

Yep.

A shout out to Husband

I don't give Husband enough credit in this blog.  Yesterday he tackled the entire mountain of clothes.  All of them!  Folded them and put them away even!  Love him!

Mama Thursday: Never On Command

Sometimes it seems like Lily is leading a double life.  There's the Lily at daycare, who parrots words left and right, and Lily at home, who babbles nonsense but clams up when we try to get her to say something. 

The other day Lily called me by the daycare lady's name.  She rarely says "Mama" when I'm around.  She'll say "Dada" at Husband all the time.  So nothing against the daycare lady, but I'm a bit nonplussed by this development.

I was also informed yesterday that she said, "booger."  One of the older kids caught her with her finger up her nose and told her not to pick her boogers and that's when she repeated it.

So she says "booger" but not "Mama."  I'm going to try and not be offended by that.  Twelve months of nursing and this is the thanks I get.

She has really turned a corner straight into demanding toddlerhood.  If she's like this now, we're really in for it when she's 2 and 3.  She points at stuff she wants and if she doesn't get them immediately she'll start squealing.  She always wants to go outside.  I'm happy for my little nature lover, but I'm not sure what's going to happen when it's raining outside.  Of course I'm going to oblige her by taking her out into a storm, but what if she thinks it's great?

Also: baby tantrums.  By the time she comes home in the evening she's pretty much wiped out.  We're almost always guaranteed a cranky baby on weeknights.  Now in addition to squealing when she doesn't get what she wants, when she's tired she puts her face on the floor and has a little mini tantrum.

This is, of course, completely hilarious.  It's hard to keep a straight face when the faceplant tantrums happen and I know that we have to because discipline is good yadda yadda.

In positive news she's getting better at using a cup and spoon.  So she has that going for her.

Oh yeah, I have this thing

If I'm going to call myself a Minnesota Blogger I best get to the blogging then, hmm?

I've been busy and drained.  There is a mountain of clothes that need to be folded taking over the bedroom.  The living room floor is covered with dust, pet hair, and dried food that Lily decided to throw on the floor.  The front yard is full of weeds.  I need to get some more stuff planted in the garden.  I have to finish fixing my scooter.  I have to re-hang the shelves that were organizing our back closet that crumpled to a heap at the bottom.  There are piles of recycling and large garbage in the back hall that need to get dragged out to the alley.

And because I'm participating in the rummage sale to benefit Child Hunger Ends Here that means I have to actually go through all the crap in the closets and basement and pull out rummages to sell.  Rummages?  Is that a word?

I was awakened at 3:30 AM by a very sad baby with a very angry diaper rash.  I managed to get back into bed at 4:00 but never really fell back to sleep.  I managed to forget my wedding rings and my key card/bus pass at home.

I've been doing my best on my prescribed physical therapy exercises for my knee but I'm frustrated that it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress at all.  It still hurts when I stand, walk, go up and down stairs, or do really anything at all.  I want to go back to roller derby, I really do, but this whole thing is stressing me out.  A lot.

Shit, what isn't stressing me out anymore?

An important problem for our nation's women today

They don't put pockets on women's dress pants.

This is a problem.  A real issue.

Clothing manufacturers are clearly under the impression that women don't need to carry shit around.  They must all assume that everyone with a vagina carries a purse around with them all day every day.  Because obviously women, like most Apple fans, are only concerned with form over function.  Why would women need pockets when all we do is type dictation and make coffee, am I right, guys?

Sorry.  I didn't mean to go all militant feminist on you there.

Take this scenario with which I was just presented in my actual life:

• I'm hungry.  I also need to pee.  The vending machine is on the opposite side of the building right next to the women's bathroom.  How convenient!  Let me just grab some change.
• OK, I can either bring the change with me into the bathroom or get my pretzels first and bring those into the bathroom.
• If I bring the change into the bathroom I'll have to set it down somewhere.  I'll have to remember to retrieve my change after I wash my hands.  The change that I set down in the bathroom.  The germy, nasty bathroom.
• If I bring my pretzels into the bathroom with me, they'll need to go on that germy, nasty bathroom surface.
• Either way I'll have to wash my hands a second time before I eat my pretzels.*

To add to this pocketless injustice, I have to carry around my keycard and my Blackberry at all times**.  Having no lower pocket to clip the Blackberry to I am forced to put it on my waistband or belt.  This causes my shirts to do this:

Don't tell me to tuck in my shirt.  One, I don’t tuck in my shirts.  Two, nearly all of my shirts were not made for tucking.  So I walk around with the weird bunched up shirt thing or I pull the shirt down over the Blackberry and it looks like I've got a tumor on my hip.

On a related note, I have a pair of pants that the manufacturer actually took the time to put pockets on, real pockets and everything, but sewed the pocket holes shut.  WHAT IN THE FUCK.

*Having just recovered from a pretty serious stomach flu situation this is mandatory.
**Yes, I realize clipping my Blackberry to my waist is dorky, but I'm paid to be a geek so shut up.

Despicable

Speaking of vomiting, this is about the worst thing I've ever heard.  Here it is, straight from HRC:

Hey,

You're never going to believe this story.

First this Mississippi school board canceled prom because a senior girl wanted to take her girlfriend. Then they organized a 'fake' prom (five students attended), while the rest of the students went to a secret prom organized by parents.

I just signed a petition to stand with Constance -- and condemn the school board's failure to treat its students with the respect and fairness everyone deserves.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=785

It's got to be pretty lonely to be in Constance's shoes. She didn't set out to start a fight in the courts or in the media. All she wanted to do was go to prom.

Join me in letting Constance know we're supporting her.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=785

Thanks!

This is so horrifying I don't even have words.

I'm not dead yet

So I've been throwing up for three days.  I was eating nothing but rice and broth and things were actually looking up today.  I was even able to move to the couch and this afternoon I drove Lily to her doctor appointment.  I was feeling chipper so I decided to eat a sandwich for dinner.  Alas, that turned out to be a horrible decision.

I'm not overly dehydrated because I've been sipping on apple juice and Powerade and for the most part keeping those down.  But if I keep throwing up I'm afraid my teeth are going to start falling out.

No, I'm not pregnant.  I'm 99% positive my IUD hasn't failed me yet.

I can't sleep because I get super naseous when I'm horizontal.  I think I'm going to have to take half a sleeping pill and hope for the best.

I'm taking a sleeping pill tonight

I know that one of the most boring things in the world is other people's dreams, but SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with my brains lately?

I haven't been sleeping well because of temperature issues, sickness, and a dog who desperately needs to snuggle at night.  What sleep I do get is filled with disturbing and gory dreams.

An old man ghost whose lower half of his face is melting off?  A despondent woman on a bicycle shooting herself and wailing about joining someone in death?  Really, subconscious?  Really?

Mama Thursday: Addendum - Breastfeeding/Pumping One Year Later

I'm still going strong with nursing Lily at home and pumping at work one year later.  I'm fortunate to be able to pump four times a day at work.  I'm actually dropping down to three times a day starting today and will be slowly weaning Lily for the next six months.

I wish I would have discovered this post a year ago.  I never did go out and get a hands-free bustier so I've been doing this sort of one arm smashdown if I need to use a laptop or Blackberry while I'm pumping.  I am a changed woman.

I would really like to cut back on my coffee consumption but my milk production crashes if I don't have any during the day.  They say things like beer and oatmeal can stimulate lactation.  These along with fenugreek capsules and mother's milk tea have nothing on coffee -- for me, at least.

I'm really going to miss nursing when it's over.  It's a nice way to begin and end the day.

Mama Thursday: Week 53 - They breed

Baby socks.  They're everywhere.  They're in my purse, under the microwave, behind the stove, under the couch and in the cushions, on our nightstands, in the bathroom, and in our cars.  Yet somehow we still have a full container of fresh socks ready to go above the changing table.  They're like Tribbles.

Lily's birthday has come and gone.  We're trying to dig out from a mountain of new toys, which like Lily herself, keep getting bigger.  We have also started receiving revenge toys from my brother and sister-in-law for all the loud noisemaking toys we gave their kids.  We need to call a truce.