Always sexy
[this blog left intentionally ugly]

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mama Thursday: She's Taking Advantage of Me

Lily's still not really talking yet.  She did try to say "one, two, three" yesterday and it sounded like "uh, oua, eh."  But she's trying!

She's got this bad habit of not wanting to eat or drink unless I'm physically feeding her.  Last night she want so far as to grab my hand, move it to her cup, and make me hold it for her while she sucked on the straw.  Ah hell naw... this stops today.

Speaking of eating, she still won't eat more than a bite or two of meat.  I am OK with this, but it's difficult because I've been in a carnivorous mood lately.  I think it's the change of seasons.

I'm dreaming of the day when I can do something with her hair.  It's so thin and fine that there's no way I could get it into pigtails or anything.  As much of a pain in the ass as it is for me, I wish she would have inherited my family's thick, dark hair.  We'll have to beat the boys off with sticks because of her straight, soft, strawberry blonde hair.

We met some of the other kids on the block the other day.  It's weird that we've been living there for over five years and haven't really seen anyone's kids.  One couple carts their new baby all over town (to Plymouth!) for playgroups, new dad groups, and that sort of thing.  Another lady sequesters her three kids in the backyard and was ruminating on how much better she feels now that there's a padlock on their fence gate so she can run in the house for two minutes to change her youngest's diapers and let the other two stay outside.  I wanted so badly to suggest she read Free Range Kids but I was polite and kept my mouth shut.  One of the ladies on the block is currently unemployed and stays home with her 1-year-old and is thinking about organizing a playgroup or babysitting exchange.  So we've got that going for us.  Hopefully.

It's so amazing how different everyone's parenting styles can be even on one city block.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Real Food Boot Camp 2.0 is underway

So I've been rewriting the RFBC and it's coming right along over at

What I learned last night

Drinking a shot of Galliano on the same day that I give blood will make me vomit.  On the bathroom rug.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Taking Charge: Part 2

I'm a butterfly!  Whee!

No, seriously, I feel like I'm coming out of my shell.  Maybe I'm just going through some kind of manic high period, but I've been totally cool with social interactions lately.  I did get a little agitated in the crowds at the downtown farmer's market yesterday, but fuck those market tourists like to move slow and block the sidewalk.

I've had a mental bucket list going for a while now and it's time to get it out in the open.  I have avoided most of these things because my social crutch husband hasn't been the least bit interested in most of them.  But you know what?  Fuck that.  I'm going to do stuff because I want to do stuff and I'll do them alone and be fine with it.  Rawr.

  • Take a voice acting class
  • Take a real acting class
  • Take regular yoga classes
  • Go back to school and finish a degree
  • See the Badlands
  • Visit Utah's national parks
  • Visit the Headwaters of the Mississippi
  • Gather fellow geeks together and establish a regular D&D night -- done!
  • Learn how to fix my scooter
  • Buy a longboard
  • Run a 5K
  • Find a best friend
  • Take more cooking classes
  • Teach a class
  • Do mehndi again
  • Dye my hair
  • Make at least one female friend
  • Laser hair removal
  • Lasik
  • Learn Korean

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Mommyblogs, advertising, corporate whores. As usual.

So there was this.

This is pretty much the worst thing ever. 

OK, maybe not ever, but certainly the worst thing to hit the women's blogosphere. Way to drink that Kool-Aid, ladies.

I'm not going to derail into a tirade about the irresponsibility and naivete of these misguided individuals and the evilness that is HFCS, lobbyists, corn subsidies, sugar tariffs, and GMO crops.  Some other time, perhaps.

I'm not generally a fan of mommyblogs.  Besides the inane prattling about the 14,709 pictures of junior's latest block stacking conquest, a lot of them force products down your throat.

I wouldn't have so much of a problem with the product whoring if it was the bloggers themselves approaching companies with a, "Hey, I really like your thing.  I'm going to write about it, 'kay?"  Hell, I've done a couple of product endorsements myself.  But no, companies actually have people whose job it is to contact bloggers and social media-related people and ask them to push their wares.  In return the bloggers may get paid money or free product.  Many of the bloggers will use the free product for a giveaway, thus increasing their blog's popularity.  Does a giveaway mean these bloggers retain their integrity?

Not in my book.

They are being paid in goods or cash by a company.  They are, to be perfectly frank (it's what I do), corporate whores.  Whether they're offering up a good, bad, or indifferent review of something, they are still providing advertisement for a company at a fraction of the cost of traditional ad.

"But PPC," you will sneer, "I've seen you put your name in on some of these giveaways!  You're a hypocrite for supporting the very people you revile!"  And I say to you: damn right I want a free KitchenAid Mixer.  If the Pioneer Woman wants to give me one, that's great.  If she's getting them gratis from KitchenAid she's still a corporate whore.  And I still despise that shit.  But if the Pioneer Woman decides tomorrow that all her giveaways are going out the window, it doesn't affect my life in any way.  And besides, it's not the people I have a problem with (unless they're homophobes, bigots, or misogynists as well -- then I hate their guts and hope they lose an eye or a limb), it's their actions.  Semantics, baby.

And thus she spake her judgement upon the bloggers.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Taking charge: Part 1

I am unattractive.

Stay with me here.  I swear this isn't a waaaaaaah post.

I am not what you'd call classically beautiful.  I'm short, have a wide back, giant calves and thighs, a bulbous nose, terrible thick and unruly hair, moles everywhere. 

Me tonight

I don't photograph well.  I have a weird smile and one of my eyes always closes halfway and makes me look stoned out of my gourd. 

I can only remember two times in my life where someone called me "beautiful."  I remember one of those times very clearly because it was only a few years ago.  I was wearing a dress and actually put on makeup because we were going to a wedding.  Husband's aunt actually stopped short and said, "You're beautiful!"  I was caught off guard and managed to stutter a thank-you.  I didn't look like myself that day.

Me not looking at all like me

I've gone through all the stages of questioning, doubt, denial, and acceptance.  I look like what I look like. 

I am determined to take pictures of myself nonetheless.  I want to do this for my daughter.

I realized today that there are very few photos of me from about age 7 to age 23.  My family and friends just didn't use cameras very often, and if they did they weren't taking pictures of me.  And I was just fine with this.  As unattractive as I am now, I was exponentially so when I was going through puberty.  I don't even want to talk about my giant frizzy hair.

As few pictures as there are of me, there are far less of my mother.  She died when I was 10.  I have a terrible memory anyway and I don't remember faces very well.  I only have two or three photos to remind me what she looked like.  I barely know what kind of person she was.  I know she liked to crochet.  She was a good cook.  She was a hard worker.  Photos might have been able to provide some kind of clue as to her interests, her dreams, her passions.

I think about this all the time: what if something happens to me?  Will Lily remember my face?

So I will take pictures of myself not as any kind of Internet attention whore.  In the end I only care about me and mine.  I will take pictures of myself even if no one else will.

Depending on the day, and depending on what I ate
I'm anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds overweight
I got red eyes and one of them's lazy
And they both squint when the sun shines so I look crazy
I'm albino man, I know I'm pink and pale
And I'm hairy as hell, everywhere but fingernails
I shave a cranium that ain't quite shaped right
Face tight, shiny, I stay up and write late nights
My wardrobe is jeans and faded shirts
A mixture of what I like, and what I wear to work
I'm not mean and got a neck full of razor bumps
I'm not the classic profile of what the ladies want
You might think I'm depressed as can be
But when I look in the mirror I see sexy ass me
And if that's something that you can't respect then that's peace
My life's better without you actually

- Brother Ali - Forest Whitaker

Souls are worth the price of a gift certificate, evidently

This makes my blood boil.

More later.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Brain input overload

I desperately want to get my scooter back up and running.  I haven't been able to use it this year at all and it looks like I won't be able to either.  I need to replace the air filter for sure and probably the spark plug too.  There's really no reason why it's not starting.  The carb is spotless.  All the fluid levels are fine.

I know that I will have to learn how to do this myself.  But when I'm working full time, taking care of the baby, trying to learn Korean, trying to learn how to play the ukulele and tinwhistle, and working on plans to go back to school I just don't know when this is going to happen.  Oh, and I want to take voice acting and/or real acting lessons too.

I've already tried asking someone to help me and show me how to do basic maintenance on it but this person has made it pretty abundantly clear that they have no interest in helping me with this.  But that's a whole other situation.  Husband knows a little about small engine repair but lacks experience.  Brother-in-law is too busy putting his new house together. 

I guess I'll go to the library and see if they have some kind of small engine repair for dummies book.  They've got the Haynes scooter manual but it does me no good when I don't know what problem I'm looking for in the first place.  So... dead scooter.  Yeah.