I wonder more and more every day if I should go back to a psychiatrist and get medicated. My OCD is pretty under control, my social anxiety is tolerable (no panic attacks in a long time now!), but I have clear periods of ups and downs. When I’m up I’m a creative fountain spewing words and pictures and ideas in all directions, soaking up information like a sponge, and cooking like mad. When I’m down, I am a misanthropic slug with a learning disorder.
haven’t written here since March. I haven’t worked on The Project
since the end of February. I managed to ooze out a creative writing
exercise the other day outlining a backstory for one of my Skyrim
characters but I haven’t fleshed it out yet.
worry that, like in the past, medications would do less evening out and
more bringing everything down to a dull monochrome. I lost a good
chunk of memory from my high school years and still have short term
memory and word recall issues and if that actually got worse I honestly
don’t know how I would function. I mean, the other night I forgot the
words for “sink” and “cutting board.” This happens every day.
least I’m losing weight, or at least I think I am because I have
avoided the scale, and I didn’t have to manually squish my boobs into my
jacket this morning. I’m doing a (loose) low-carb keto-esque thing and
it’s going pretty well. I do miss fruit, however.
Very soon in our future will be a new (old) car and a new (probably new) TV. So that’s exciting.